“Look To Your Weaknesses To Discover Your Strengths”

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

July 24, 2007

     Summer time provides and excellent opportunity for each of us to slow down and truly take stock of our life. We can look back to see what we’ve accomplished along the way and look forward to determine where we would like to be a year from now.  Sometimes, however, it is wise to ask others for their opinion as well simply because we often tend to be very hard on our selves and may not even realize that we have had a positive impact on others.  What we may see as a weakness may actually be one of our strengths. Take a look at the following story and you will see what I mean.
  
   A long time ago a water bearer in India owned two large pots. Each pot hung on one of the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master’s house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
  
   For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots of water in his master’s house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream.
  
  “I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you.”
  
  “Why?” asked the bearer. “What are you ashamed of?”  
  
   “I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don’t get full value from your efforts,” the pot said sadly.
  
   The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, “As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.”
  
   Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half of its load, and so again the pot apologized to the bearer for its failure.
  
   The bearer said to the pot, “Did you notice that there were flowers on only your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you’ve watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house.
  
   The message from this story is that each of us have our own unique flaws. In a way, we are all cracked pots. However, what we see as imperfections in ourselves may not be considered as such by the people who are closest to us. In fact, as I stated earlier, what we think of as failures on our part may actually be our strengths as far as others are concerned.
  
   So as you spend time in a reflective mood this summer, don’t be too quick to pass judgement on yourself. If you acknowledge your flaws and your shortcomings, you may discover that they are the cause of a lot of beauty and happiness that you never even realized. Look to your weaknesses and you too may discover your strengths, just like the cracked pot.
  
   Have a good week! 

“I Want To Do It Myself”

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

July 3, 2007

      One day, many years ago, I came upon a cocoon on an old log in my yard. The cocoon was moving and I could see that a butterfly was trying to break out of the cocoon to begin its short, but wonderful life flying among the flowers.
 
   I went up to the cocoon and gently pulled apart the opening to help the butterfly emerge. It appeared grateful for the favour as it burst out of the cocoon and onto the log where it stretched its wings in the sun. And then the saddest thing happened.
 
   Try as it might, this beautiful butterfly was unable to fly. It was unable to flap its wings and stumbled in its attempts to become airborne. Eventually it gave up and died.
 
   I then realized that my well-intentioned assistance in helping the butterfly get out of the cocoon actually caused the death of this beautiful insect. Nature, you see, created a cocoon that would be difficult to get out of precisely so that the wings of the butterfly would be strengthened through the struggle. By the time the butterfly battled its way out of the cocoon, the wings would be strong enough to allow the butterfly to fly. By pulling the cocoon apart, the butterfly was allowed to escape its prison, but once outside it didn’t have the strength to fly. Had I simply stood back and watched the butterfly struggle with the cocoon, the insect would have gone through the natural process of “growing up” and would have been strong enough to survive on its own. I was simply in too much of a hurry and did not allow the butterfly the time it needed to evolve.
 
   Memories of that afternoon watching a beautiful butterfly die because of my “help” came vividly to mind a couple of weeks ago during a trip to I made to Toronto with my granddaughter who just turned three years old. The two of us were on our way to visit her parents, her little sister, Hannah, and my wife (Grandma) who had been gone for over a week. We were all anxious to get together again and as I pulled out of Mamere and Papere’s driveway in Chelmsford , Hailee and I were both excited about the trip and couldn’t wait to arrive at our destination.
 
   When we completed the “SEVEN” hour trip to Toronto later that day the reunion was absolutely wonderful and I can sincerely say that I enjoyed every single minute of that long journey. I also realized that the butterfly emerging from a cocoon has a lot in common with a young child growing up. Just as it is with the butterfly, you must allow a child the opportunity to struggle and evolve, even if it means taking an extra couple of hours to get to Toronto .
 
   Hailee is at that “I want to do it myself” stage of life. And if you can just get over the “hurry-up syndrome” we acquire as adults, it is wonderful to witness. Who knew that the putting a straw into the hole in a juice box for the very first time could be such an earth-shattering event? Or being strong enough to actually open the fridge door for the first time? Or that putting on your own shoes – on the right feet no less – would be so satisfying?
 
   I will never forget the look on her face the day she was able to climb into my truck by herself. She finally stood up on my seat, holding onto the steering wheel and declared proudly, “I did it!” And when she could actually put her own seat belt on – what a moment!
 
   Have you ever watched a three-year old struggle to sip a McDonald’s milkshake through a straw? It is hard enough for an adult. And yet every time the icy solution touched her lips you could see the delight in her eyes. I learned that you can’t hurry a child through a milkshake.
 
   Yes, the trip to Toronto took almost seven hours. Her 5^th and final “pee break” came while we were caught in rush hour traffic on the 401. When I heard the dreaded “Grandpa, I have to go pee” for the third time in five minutes I knew I had no choice but to pull off on to the busy Allen Road. Soon we found a place where I could use my truck to shield her from public view and let her relieve herself in the grass under an overpass. I can’t wait for the right moment to remind her about what her grandpa had to do to make sure that she didn’t wet her pants. I think I will wait until her wedding day. It will be a good toast to the bride.
 
    We were both extremely happy to finally be reunited with the rest of our family. But as I pulled into the parking lot at the end of the journey I also felt a sense of sadness that the trip was coming to an end. It was a remarkable journey and definitely a highlight of my life. I just know that the next time I travel to Toronto , the five hour trip will seem empty without her.
 
   Have a good week!

Life Is All About Making The Right Choices

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

June 26, 2007

   From the time you get up in the morning until the time you go back to bed in the evening, your day is nothing more than a series of choices. In fact each one of us makes hundreds of choices and decisions every single day. 
 
   Some of our choices produce good results and some of our choices don’t turn out so well. Sometimes the difference between making a good choice and a bad choice is simply a matter of luck.
 
   Most of the time however, making a good choice is a matter of having the proper information "before" you are in a position where you have to make that choice.
 
   That brings me to the topic of my editorial this week. It has been brought to my attention that some young people in our community have been making some very “bad choices” lately and as a result I am asking all of my readers to do me a huge favour. I would like you to deliver a message to all of the teenagers you know and also to any young adults you come in contact with during the summer so that they have this information “before” they are in a position to make a decision that may haunt them for the rest of their life.
 
   The information is this: In Ontario it is illegal to consume alcohol before the age of 19. It is also illegal for anyone to supply alcohol to a person who is under the age of 19. That last sentence is important enough to repeat: It is illegal for anyone to supply alcohol to a person who is under the age of 19.
 
   I feel it is my duty to inform readers that an alarming number of underage boys and girls are being supplied with beer and liquor by irresponsible adults in this community. Some of those adults are being approached by teens outside beer and liquor stores and being asked to buy alcohol for them. While the act of asking is bad enough in itself, some of these irresponsible adults are actually complying with the request and purchasing alcohol for the underage teens. Both parties are in serious danger of ruining their lives if they are caught.

   Now that summer holidays are upon us, I think it is a good time for all parents of teenage boys and girls to have a serious heart-to-heart discussion about the consequences of being caught and charged with drinking underage. Moreover, I think it is equally important for adults, young and old, to understand the consequences of buying and/or supplying alcohol to minors.
 
   Under the Liquor License Act, anyone convicted of supplying alcohol to a minor faces a fine of up to $200,000 and up to one year in jail, depending on the seriousness of the results. In addition, if it can be proven that a serious accident occurred as a direct or indirect result of providing alcohol to a minor, the adult can also be sued in civil court for damages and lose “everything” including his or her house, car, savings, etc.
 
   Police will be doing their part to charge adults who supply alcohol to minors. In fact, there are “sting” operations organized during the summer months to do just that. For example, the next time you are approached to buy alcohol by an underage person outside a beer or liquor store, you better say no without hesitation. That person asking the question may just be working “under cover” to try to find people who are willing to make this “very bad decision”. There may also be someone in an unmarked car watching to see what happens.
 
   An additional piece of information you might want to relay to your adult friends is that the police do not have to catch you in the act. If anyone knows for a fact that you have supplied an underage person with alcohol, that person can inform the police and based on their testimony you can be charged with an offense under the Liquor License Act. You don’t have to be caught in the act. All you need is a witness who is willing to prevent this senseless act from ever occurring again.
 
   Remember, making a good choice is a matter of having the proper information “before” you are in a position where you have to make that choice. Now that you have the information, I hope any of you who might have felt compelled to supply an underage person with alcohol this summer will reconsider and avoid the risk of negative consequences which may last for the rest of your life. It’s just not worth it!
 
   Have a good week!

Raising The Standards Among Our Youth

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

June 19, 2007

I am sure most of you have noticed an increase in the number of disturbing stories and articles about young people both here at home and around the world who are involved in crime, vandalism and generally what we would consider downright disrespectful behaviour. While I am not sure if the actual crime rate among our younger generation is any worse than that of adults, it seems as if the media is quick to pounce upon examples of out-of-control youth as a way of attacking our education and police systems as well as our publicly funded social services agencies. These incidents also give an opportunity for politicians to feed the media frenzy by calling out for stronger enforcement and punishment measures to deal with youth crime or more funding for public education.

   As I prepared to write this column, for example, I read several feature articles about how our education system has been forced to lower its standards in order to reduce the failure and drop-out rates among our students. Teachers in classrooms today are required to make adjustments to their programs in order to provide adequate accommodation strategies for children who have been identified with learning disabilities, and it seems as if there are more and more identified students every year. In order to cover the curriculum many teachers are therefore forced to “teach to a lower level” than normal so that all of the children have a chance of understanding and keeping up. What results is a system where marks are inflated and children expect that they will get high grades with less actual work effort. On top of the lowering of the standards in the classroom, teachers coming into the system today are entering the profession at a time in the history of education where being a curriculum expert is nowhere near as important as being an effective classroom manager and disciplinarian. Unfortunately, classroom management and discipline falls into the same category as parenting in our society. For example, once you become a parent it is generally up to you to learn parenting on your own from experience. “Here’s your child. Good luck!”

   The same can be said about teaching. Once you graduate from Teachers’ College and are given a class of kids to look after, you are on your own when it comes to learning how to manage the group of children effectively in order to help them learn the concepts in the curriculum. You can always read books, attend workshops and talk to other teachers, but how you manage your classroom is pretty much left up to you. Some do an excellent job of managing a classroom of children and some have a terrible time keeping control.

   Without a doubt, students seem to have the upper hand today. They are not allowed to fail in most jurisdictions so teachers lose one of the primary motivational tools they had in the “old days” – FEAR! Fear of failure; fear of punishment; fear of authority; and most of all fear of how their parents would punish them at home for misbehaviour at school. And so, we conclude that it is becoming increasingly important for teachers to be true motivators and inspirations for their students. This is a profession that is under a great deal of stress today, and it doesn’t look as if things are going to change much in the next little while.

   While we can always look on the dark side, it is refreshing when we witness students who are “making a positive difference” in the community and who truly care about maintaining their own set of high standards. Confederation Secondary School’s Evolutionary Band comes to mind as a group of 25 or 30 young students who are simply “top of the class” in what they have done and what they have accomplished. Many other individual students have excelled and risen to the top level of achievement in their fields. You’ve read about some of them in The Vision Paper.
   As a community we have a collective responsibility to ensure that whenever a young person does something great, it is a cause for celebration and public recognition. It is something that we must hold up high as an example for others to follow.

   I have always believed that if you hold the bar up higher, students will jump over it. All you have to do is give them the right kind of motivation and give them credit when they accomplish their goals. We can raise the standards, but it will take a total community effort. Let’s work together in this.

We’re Raising Children, Not Flowers.

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

June 12, 2007

   Sunday June 17 is Fathers’ Day. This is the one day of the year when children usually go out of their way to buy a gift, make a phone call or do something special with their Father.
  
   For me, this day has always allowed me to spend time reflecting upon the tremendous responsibility I took on when I became a father. My children did not ask to come into this world. They did not select me as their father. They had no choice in the matter. They were forced to be my children and now their own children are forced into being my grandchildren.

   That is why I always consider Fathers’ Day as a special day in the year when I should be doing something special with my children; a day when I should be looking for ways to show my appreciation for what my children have meant to me over the years. It is also a day when I sometimes look back in time and realize that I wasn’t always as good a father as I should have been.  

   Unfortunately, fathers are not always completely sensitive to the needs of their children. Most of us would never do anything to deliberately hurt our children, but sometimes we just don’t realize how our actions or inactions are being perceived by our sons and daughters.

   For example, take the story of Howard, a man who thought he was in tune with the times. When his four-year old son David acquired a taste for “The Three Little Pigs” and demanded that his father read it to him night after night, Howard took action. He purchased a child’s easy-to-use tape recorder and read the story onto tape for him.

   The next time David asked for the story to be read, Howard switched on the recorder. David was fascinated at the novelty of his father’s voice reading his favorite book from a ‘machine’. The following night when he asked for “Free Li’l Pigs”, Howard went a step further. He showed David how to work the playback on the recorder for himself.

   The following evening, when David arrived and pushed the storybook at him, Howard said, “Now, David, you know how to turn on the recorder.” He smiled and said sweetly but insistently, “Yes.” Then he added, “But I can’t sit on its lap.” Needless to say the tape recorder was placed in storage after that.

   Take another story about a father who once had a job that required extensive travel. After a long trip, his wife and four children would meet him at the door with loving hugs and kisses. After one such joyful homecoming, he was playing with his youngest child and he asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up? The child responded without hesitation, “A pilot.”

   “Why a pilot?” the father asked a bit surprised.

   His son looked at him and replied, “So I can spend more time with you.”

   Shortly thereafter the father took on a position in his company that required far less travel.

   Every father’s day I always remember one afternoon when I was raking leaves in the back yard. My three sons were playing soccer on the grass and then decided to jump on the piles of leaves that I had worked so hard to rake up. Instead of scolding them for their actions, I simply watched them play, reminded about the story of the young father who was teaching his son how to push a lawn mower. The father turned away to talk to his wife and his son accidentally pushed the mower right through the flower bed. When the father began to yell at his child, his wife reminded him, “Remember, we’re raising children, not flowers.”

   We still have the picture of the boys playing in those leaves. It is hanging up in the house where I can see it every day to remind me that I am raising children, not flowers.

   In closing, there are two things that I wish I would have learned earlier in life, and each year I use this column to pass this message along to all of the young fathers out there. First, don’t ever feel that spending time with your children is less important than anything else you have to do in your life. Absolutely nothing is more important than spending time, even if it is just for a few moments with your children. Secondly, never pass up an opportunity to make your children realize that you are extremely proud to be their father.
  
   Have a good week!

If You Pick Moss, 

Don’t Expect Blueberry Pie

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

June 5, 2007

  
   I think I am one of the luckiest people in the world because of the time I am able to spend with young, vibrant people who are not afraid to demonstrate their excitement and zest for life. Personally, I would take a person with passion and enthusiasm over a person with skills and talent any day of the week. You can teach and develop skills, but you cannot develop a love of life and an optimistic attitude. These are character traits which become the very fabric of a person’s being and which emerge at all times during work or play. Furthermore they are traits that everyone is born with and you never lose them.

   As a classroom teacher, and now as an Independent Education and Career Planning Advisor, I come across far too many children and young adults who are on a road to despair unless someone can find a way to rekindle the fire inside and change their attitude towards learning and indeed life itself! In other words – bring back the zest for life we all see in children during the first years of their life. Bring that feeling that everyday is filled with wonderful experiences and opportunities.

   Unfortunately, society is turning out too many children and young adults who feel as if they are “entitled” to things without ever having to put much effort or thought into their work. They are just along for the ride and expect everyone around them to cater to their every wish and hand them life on a silver platter.
   Whenever I come across anyone – young or old – who wants to experience all of the good things in life, but are unwilling to do the work that comes first in order to be in a position to enjoy those things, I am reminded about the story of a lazy boy who went with his mother and grandmother on a blueberry picking hike into the woods.

   First of all, the boy made sure he selected the smallest basket he could find. Then, while the others worked hard at picking berries, he ran around the area, playing with the squirrels and chasing butterflies. When it was time to leave, he panicked and filled his basket mostly with moss and then topped it off with a thin layer of berries so that it looked full. His mother and grandmother commended him for his tremendous effort.

   The next morning his mother baked pies and she made a special saucer-sized pie just for her son. He could hardly wait for it to cool. Blueberry pie was his favourite! He could see the plump berries oozing through a slit in the crust, and his mouth watered in anticipation. However, as he sunk his fork into the flaky crust, he found mostly….moss!

   That day the boy learned a valuable lesson he would never forget. If you “pick blueberries” you can expect blueberry pie. But if you pick moss, you can only make moss pie.

    So remember, whether you are in school or at work, if you have enthusiasm and if you are willing to put in consistent effort along with passion, you will reap the rewards. If, on the other hand, you are lazy and prefer to take short-cuts, you should not expect to achieve the same results.

   And so as our young people approach the conclusion of another school year it is once again a time of reckoning. The marks on the report card will give you a pretty good indication of just how hard you worked this past year. If you did your best at all times and always approached new tasks with enthusiasm and excitement, then you should be satisfied with the results.

   However, if you slacked off most of the year; spent time going out and having fun instead of working harder on assignments and projects; chose to go to the movies instead of studying for those exams, you deserve low marks and hopefully you too will learn a valuable lesson about life.

   I would ask all parents to share this story with their children. Keep a copy some place handy in case you have to prove your point about the benefits of hard work. Keep reminding them that in this life, “If you pick moss, don’t expect blueberry pie!”

   Have a good week!

There Is Nothing Ordinary About An Ordinary Day

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

May 29, 2007

  
  

   I think we have all heard the saying, "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away."  This cliché is constantly being used by inspirational speakers and writers to convince us that we should appreciate the truly remarkable moments in our life and cherish them forever.
  
   Last weekend I came across an essay written by an unknown author that made me look at life from a whole different perspective. The writer contended that our lives are not really measured by the number of breaths we take or even by the number of moments that take our breath away, but rather our lives are measured by what happens during ordinary days. After all, we certainly have more plain ordinary days than we have special days or moments that take our breath away.  
  
   While we will always look forward to those beautiful milestones in our life, such as the birth of a child, a graduation, a wedding, a birthday or anniversary celebration, they are few and far between for most of us.

   In fact, we spend the vast majority of our time on this earth living normal, ordinary days which turn quickly into normal, ordinary years. We simply go about our business of being parents, spouses, employees and friends and life goes on.

   Therefore if we are going to accurately measure our life; it is what we do with these ordinary days that will actually define us. Your life is therefore defined by the sum of all of your ordinary days. We are who we are because of those typical days, not the moments that take our breath away or the number of years we have been alive.
  
   A few days after reading that essay my wife and I found ourselves looking after our two grandchildren on a Saturday night. We both enjoy the time we get to spend with our granddaughters during these “sleepovers” and our two little angels can’t wait to go to “Grandma and Grandpa’s”.
  
   It so happened that on this particular evening our eldest granddaughter who is almost three years old didn’t want to go to bed. Try as we might, she just wouldn’t cooperate. So rather than fighting (fellow grandparents will understand this unwillingness to fight with grandchildren), we just told her she could sit quietly on the rocking chair with her head on a pillow and watch television. The hockey game was on so I am sure it was absolutely boring for her, but she didn’t mind because at least she didn’t have to go to bed.
  
   While she was sitting there, I reached my foot over and began gently rocking the chair in the hope that she would fall asleep and we could carry her to bed.

   It was at that moment when I flashed back in time and vividly recalled standing in the hallway at the hospital, looking into the room at my daughter-in-law moments after she had delivered her first-born baby. My daughter-in-law will tell you that she never looked so awful and exhausted, with her hair a complete mess, but when I saw her holding my first granddaughter, the two of them were the most beautiful sight I could ever imagine. I told her that there is nothing in this world more beautiful than a new mother holding her child.

   Now, almost three years later, I looked over at this wonderful little girl, curled up in the rocking chair, eyes slowly closing while Grandpa was gently rocking her with his outstretched toes. I thought about my one year old granddaughter already asleep in her crib in another room. It was then that the significance of the essay hit me. This was just an ordinary day in my life. It was almost 10 p.m. and our granddaughter was giving us a hard time about going to bed. But at that very moment, as I gazed upon her innocent face with her eyes closed I felt the same as I had at the moment of her birth, looking at her in the arms of her mother. As ordinary as the day may have seemed, I couldn’t have imagined myself being happier or more at peace than I was right then and there. I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

It’s Time For All Graduates To Notice The River

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

May 22, 2007

During the months of May and June many of the parents, grandparents and family members reading this article will be attending graduation ceremonies at elementary, secondary and post-secondary institutions throughout the region. 

   As a professional educator in the classroom for 28 years, and now with my own tutoring company, I often find myself wondering if our education system has adequately prepared our children for the challenges of life that lay ahead of our graduates once they enter the real world beyond school. At times, I have felt a lot like the Master in the story told by Anthony de Mello.

   “As the Master grew old and infirm, the disciples begged him not to die. The Master said, “If I did not go, how would you ever see?”

  “What is it we fail to see when you are with us?” they asked.

    But the Master would not say.

   When the moment of his death was near, they said, “What is it we will see when you are gone?”

   With a twinkle in his eye, the Master said, “All I did was sit on the riverbank handing out river water. After I’m gone, I trust you will notice the river.”

    Every time I read that story I get a chill running up and down my spine; for it is true that the best teachers in the world are those who sit on the “riverbank handing out river water”.

    I am convinced that knowledge is caught, not taught, thus our role as educators and parents is to provide leadership and to facilitate experiences which will enable our children to “notice the river” after they leave us. We hand out the “river water of knowledge and learning experiences” in the hopes that our students will be able to see the whole river when we are no longer part of their lives.

   My message this week is for all graduates who are finished with their formal education.  It is time to ‘notice the river’.

   If the years you have been in school were beneficial, you will indeed notice the river that has grown in size through the experiences you have encountered in life. As you go forth to meet new challenges, you may never fully realize the value of those experiences, but your attitude and determination to succeed will surely have grown from the water which was handed out to you in the past by all of your teachers. While you were a student, you could not possibly have seen the river, focussing only on the bits of water you were given at the time. But now as you walk off that stage with your diploma in hand, you can gaze across the world of opportunity in front of you and clearly see the river flowing. You can see that each time you were handed a cup of water, your personal river grew larger and more splendid.

   As you go forward into your new careers, remember the story about the university graduate who met with his boss on his first day of work. The graduate went on and on about all of the things he had taken in school and tried to impress the boss with what he knew about the job. The boss quietly served the graduate a cup of coffee and began to pour. He filled the cup to the brim and then kept pouring. The graduate watched the overflowing cup until he could no longer restrain himself.

   “It’s overfull! No more will go in!” the graduate blurted.

   “You are like this cup,” the boss replied. “How can you expect to fit in with this company unless you first empty your cup?”

   So I say to all graduates, as you make your journey through life, pay attention to the new “teachers” along the way who are there to hand you some more water to add to your river. Each time your cup is filled with a new experience, empty it into your personal river, making it even more spectacular and magnificent. Always be willing to fill your cup with new water and as you look back upon the river it will be something you can be proud of. Soon, it will be you who will be sitting by the riverbank handing out river water, just like the Master in the story.  

   Remember, “Wisdom tends to grow in proportion to one’s awareness of one’s ignorance. When you come to see you are not as wise today as you thought you were yesterday, you are wiser today.”

   Have a good week!

We're all in This Together
Let's Use The Community Circle of Support

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

May 15, 2007

  
   As the world seems to shrink thanks in large part to the internet and satellite communication technology which allows us to effortlessly connect to anyone and everyone on this planet, I have noticed that it is getting more and more difficult to feel as if you “belong” to anything. 
   What I mean is that in the “old days” which were not that long ago, there was a kind of community spirit that developed among residents who lived in close proximity to each other. You walked down the street and you knew everyone you met. You felt safe and comfortable knowing that everyone would be there to help each other in times of need and truly cared about their neighbours. The rest of the world seemed far away and we could be content living in our own “little corner of the world”, away from the craziness of society.

   We seem to have lost a lot of that “community comfort and security”. Today we know more about the rest of the world than we know about our own neighbourhood. The rapid development of communication technology has allowed us to withdraw from our “own community” and enter whatever other part of the world we want, simply by turning on the computer or watching CNN and other satellite television. There is no longer any need to “belong” to the community in which we live. Indeed, many multi-national corporations are operating via the internet out of homes just like the one you are living in right now, right in your own neighbourhood and you have no idea about the “global community” to which they belong. Things look the same from the outside as they did years ago, but something very important is missing.
   
   Let me use the following story to illustrate the message I want to leave you with this week.
   
   There once was a slave named Androcles who escaped from his master and fled into the forest. As he was wandering about he came upon a lion lying down moaning and groaning. At first he turned to run away, but when he noticed that the lion did not chase him, he turned back and went up to the mighty beast. As Androcles came near, the lion put out his paw, which was all swollen and bleeding. When he looked at the paw he saw a huge thorn which was stuck in it causing all the pain. Androcles pulled out the thorn and bound up the paw of the lion who was soon able to rise and lick the hand of Androcles like a dog. The lion then took Androcles to his cave and every day brought him meat on which to survive. Shortly afterwards, both Androcles and the lion were captured and the slave was sentenced to be thrown to the lion which had been kept without food for several days. The Emperor and his people came to see the spectacle. Androcles was led out into the middle of the arena. Soon the lion was released from his den and rushed bounding and roaring towards his victim. But as soon as the lion came near to Androcles, he recognized his friend and fawned upon him, licking his hands like a friendly dog. When the Emperor was told the whole story, Androcles was set free and the lion let loose to return to his native forest.
   
   This story holds a great deal of significance for the people living in Valley East today.  Our community should be all about businesses and residents living in harmony in a circle of support. The businesses of Valley East exist to provide goods and services to the families who live in this community.  Consumers who shop locally help keep the businesses viable and healthy by increasing their sales.  As businesses increase their sales, it enables them to expand, put more people to work and contribute back to the community through sponsorships, donations and other forms of support.
   
   By reaching out to help each other; in other words with residents who are willing to support local businesses and with businesses who are willing to provide local residents with good value for the goods and services purchased, we will all benefit from the power of this Community Circle of Support and move forward into a brighter future with confidence that we are all in this together.
   
     I am therefore asking all businesses to make a sincere effort to increase the level of awareness among local residents of the goods and services you have available. I ask all resident to please consider those goods and services before you make purchases elsewhere. Soon, we may rediscover the “feeling that we belong” to this great community of Valley East .
   
   Have a good week!

Look For Creative Ways Of Making People You Meet Feel Special 

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

May 8, 2007

   It is awfully difficult these days to find anything positive to say about going to the gas station to fill up on overpriced gasoline. Nevertheless, the other day a young man named Ryan McFadden served me at the local Petro Canada and he reminded me that there are people in this world who have a knack for saying just the right thing to make others feel special.

   I stopped in just before lunch to fill up my wife’s car. Ryan served me, took my $30 and returned with a receipt, offering me a polite, “Have a nice day.”

   After lunch, I returned with my truck and pulled up to the pump. Ryan once again came out and greeted me with a sincere, “Hello. You’re back again.” The fact that he recognized me out of all of the customers who he had seen that day and the fact that he remembered me being there in a different vehicle would have been enough. However, when I gave him my $50 this time along with the Petro Points card, he stopped abruptly and said, “You didn’t have this card this morning. I will put the points from the last purchase on the card for you.” He even remembered the amount of gas I had purchased.
  
   Obviously Ryan is just pumping gas as a job while he decides what to do with his life. He will continue his education and likely end up in a very nice career. However, what he did that day demonstrated that Ryan has a gift for making people feel special. The fact that he not only remembered and acknowledged that he had served me earlier in the day, but that he also remembered that I had not received the Petro Points I had earned, and then took it upon himself to make sure I was given those points made the pain of getting “gassed at the pumps” a whole lot easier to take.

   The experience with Ryan reminded me of a story I had read about a grocery store bagger named Johnny. Johnny had Down’s Syndrome and decided to do something to make a difference for the customers he met during the day. Since Johnny liked quotations, each day he would pick out one that he liked and he and his father would use the computer to print off a number of copies. Johnny cut the sayings in little strips and then signed his name to the back of the little strips of paper. When he packed the groceries for a customer he would drop the little strip into the bag and say, “I hope you enjoy my quote of the day.”

   Within a few weeks, the lineups at Johnny’s checkout were three times as long as the others. Customers would wait in line just so they could get one of Johnny’s quotes of the day. In fact, some customers were coming to the grocery store 2 or 3 times a week just to see the smile on Johnny’s face as he dropped in his favourite quote.
  
   Eventually the practice caught on and the lady in the floral department began cutting off broken flowers and pinning them on elderly women; the guy in the meat department was putting his favourite Snoopy stickers on the packages and talking to his customers; everyone was finding creative ways to put their mark on service.

   The lesson here is pretty obvious. When it comes to service, we all have our unique gifts to offer. However we'll never make the emotional connection with the customer unless it begins in our heart. What Ryan did that day may have seemed insignificant, but it certainly left a mark on me. What Johnny did in the grocery story certainly left a mark on his customers. It has made me even more committed to doing my part to making people with whom I come in contact realize that they too are important to me and that I do care about them a lot.

   This week see what you can do to leave your mark on the people with whom you come into contact.

   Have a good week!

Education Week Is An Important Week For "Family Managers"

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

May 1, 2007

   This is Education Week!
  
   It is one week during the year that teachers and students devote to showcasing the accomplishments and achievements of their school community. There are numerous activities, events, and open houses lined up to help increase awareness among the general public of the important place education has in our world today.
  
   If you are a parent, you really don’t need to be reminded about the importance of education. What goes on at school has an impact on every single facet of family life from the time your youngest child enters Junior Kindergarten until the day he or she finally decides that it is time to leave the classroom and enter the world of work.
  
   Many parents today don’t realize, however, just how different things were when they were going through the system. It sure seemed a whole lot easier to deal with school matters when my own children were growing up.  Homework was less difficult to understand and I had no trouble helping my children with their assignments. Most of the time we just let the school take care of education responsibilities. Come to think of it, everything about life seemed so much easier to deal with.
  
   Times are different today – in everything, not just education. Parents are no longer just parents: they are “Family Managers” with responsibilities that include a wide variety of functions, including the management of the education and career planning of their children. In other words, today’s parents MUST take an active role in the education program of their children. They have no choice and it is imperative that they fully understand the implications of provincial testing; IPRC meetings; IEP requirements; special education and resource support; academic vs applied levels of study in high school; college vs university vs apprenticeship options; report cards that have numbers from 1 to 4 instead of percents and letters; etc.
  
   Many parents are left in a total state of confusion, making an attempt to become involved by “helping” with homework until they recognize that the math being taught in school today does not look like the math they were taught 20 or 30 years ago. They try as hard as they can to “force” their children to keep up with assignments and to get high marks but this often leads to an elevated level of stress in the home and a negative attitude towards education among the children.
  
   Today’s parents have no choice! They must accept their role as “Family Managers” and within that organizational structure of the family falls the management of Learning and Education programs for children.
  
   This can mean measures that include anywhere from home schooling to private schools and everything in between from regular schools to special schools to private tutoring. Whatever it takes, it is your responsibility as the “Family Manager” to make sure that effective learning takes place for all members of your “team” – yourself included.
  
   The primary responsibility for educating your child is no longer the job of the schools. It is your job as a parent and how you manage your choice of schools and your understanding of the school system is critical to your performance as the “Family Manager”.
  
   Education Week is a good time to remind ourselves of these responsibilities. Take some time this week to visit your child’s school. Talk to the teacher and principal. And don’t just talk about the weather. Talk about substance and become better acquainted with the programs. Ask for explanations. Question policies and philosophies with which you disagree. Visit web sites and check things out.
  
   Whatever you do, DON’T DO NOTHING! Your job as a “Family Manager” is the most important job you will ever have in your life. Be good at it!
  
   Have a good week!

The Five Most Dangerous Words In The English Language

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

April 24, 2007

    
  The last time I took my truck in for repairs my mechanic told me that it was a good thing I came in when I did. He showed me a part that was just about to break and which would have resulted in substantial damage to my engine. As I uttered a sigh of relief, I recalled that for several weeks I had frequently heard a strange sound coming from the engine, but each time I had uttered those five most dangerous words in the English language: MAYBE IT WILL GO AWAY.
  
   In this case it was the engine of my truck – nothing major really – so what if I had to get a new engine? But I would hate to count the number of times I have attended the funeral of a good friend or family member who also uttered those same words about a lingering pain or uncharacteristic symptom.
  
   I also recall watching many students in my classes over the years as they struggled and suffered with learning difficulties that were the result of stressful events occurring in their family that parents simply hoped would go away.
  
   Perhaps there is a situation you face in your own life right now that you wish would either go away and disappear with a snap of your fingers or be transformed overnight without any intervention on your part. Whether that circumstance is a dissatisfying career, an unrealized dream, a bad marriage, an injustice you don't want to mention, signs of abuse that you'd rather not acknowledge, or a mile high stack of unopened mail - one thing is certain: wishing that "maybe it will go away" won't make it happen.
  
   What you need is a course of action that will support the situation you want to create. If you want a satisfying career, then you must get the training and education needed to get you into that career. If you have an unrealized dream, you must do things that will take you closer to that dream. If you have a bad marriage, you must do something to make your marriage better or get out of the marriage. In other words, uttering the five most dangerous words in the English language just won’t work. It is not enough to say MAYBE IT WILL GO AWAY.
  
   Children are especially vulnerable in when there is a crisis in the family. And whether you tell them or not, they know that something is wrong. They notice when family routines are disrupted or if mom and dad seem more withdrawn and stressed out. They can tell when something is not right and if you don’t communicate with them there is no telling what they might be thinking. Experts always recommend that you confide in your children and you explain things to them in an age-appropriate manner as much as they want to know.  Find a time to tell your children what is going on and you will be saving them from long-lasting effects that may even impact on their education. Something to remember is that the younger the child, the more important it is to communicate. Parents often feel that their two or three year old is too young to notice what is going on in the house, but children who are trying to make sense of their world know when things are not right. A few simple words of explanation can make everything better and will keep them feeling safe and sound.
  
   So no matter what is causing you stress at this time in your life, create an action plan right now to address the problem. DO NOT fall into the trap of using those five dangerous words, because in most cases, IT WON’T GO AWAY!
  
   Have a good week!  

Don’t Pay Attention To The Losers Around You – Rise Above Them 

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

April 17, 2007

    
  
  
   If you ask my former students to give their opinion on what kind of teacher I was, I am sure you will get some interesting answers. As a matter of fact, some of them even expressed their opinions to my face – a move that often resulted in disciplinary action such as detentions and suspensions. However, for the most part, I like to think that I made a positive difference in the life of most of the children who came in contact with me during my 28 year career.
  
   One thing that I hope to be remembered for is that I always took special care to make sure my classroom was a “safe” environment for all learners – regardless of their intellectual, emotional or physical abilities.
  
   As a “classroom manager” I absolutely despised any kind of action that was intended to embarrass, ridicule or bully another student. I demanded that every single person in my classroom be treated with respect and be “free” to express their ideas and opinions without fear of being laughed at if they made a mistake. I was proud of the fact that my classroom was a place where children were free to try their best and make mistakes without fear of ridicule. It was also a place where children who didn’t accept that principle lived in fear of discipline every single day.
  
   I learned early in my career that children can be cruel to each other. I also was witness to the fact that many children find out very early in life that it is much easier to fail than to be successful; and that they often gained more notoriety and recognition as failures and discipline problems than those children who were constantly working hard to develop their talents and skills. In my classroom, I constantly encouraged the “failures” to step away from their “bondage” – to step away from the hold that their “loser friends” had on them and to attempt to change in a positive way. However, for many, the subtle strategies employed by the “group” often brought them back into the fold and they once again became problem children in order to fit in with the crowd.
  
   As a classroom teacher I saw too many bright young boys and girls simply stop trying in order to avoid the criticism and ridicule of the “group”. I saw too many children who were so afraid of being called “geeks” that they simply sat back and put in their time during school, waiting for the opportunity to get away from the “failures and bullies” that were holding them back.
  
   And so, as I look back on my teaching career, and as I now see some of my former students walking around town with their own children, I hope that among other things, they remember my class as being a safe environment for learning; a place where they felt free to try their best without ridicule and criticism. I hope that I taught them to prevail over the failures and losers they will meet in their life who are committed to spending their time lowering the standards of everyone around them. I hope that they learned to “rise above those who would try to tear you down” and feel the satisfaction of being a positive influence on your family, your fellow workers and you community.
  
   There will always be winners in this world and there will always be losers who are hoping that the winners will fail. When you dig deep down inside these losers, you will often find people who really would like to be a winner but who are too scared to try, and they attempt to cover up their own failures as human beings by laughing at others. In a sense we should feel sorry for them.
  
   Just remember – the world is a better place because of people who try and who are not afraid to do their best. Rise above the losers in the world and don’t let anything stand between you and your dreams.
  
   Have a good week!

Enduring Life’s Challenges Will Give You The Strength To Reach Your Treasure

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

April 10, 2007

    
  
  
   The other day I was having a conversation with a friend about how the younger generation today seems to expect to have everything handed to them on a silver platter. Not all young people fall into this category, but it is clear that many teenagers and young adults seem to feel as if they are “entitled” to things that previous generations had to work hard to achieve. If you know anyone who belongs to this “entitled generation” give them a copy of the following story.

   One day, a long time ago, a young man went to visit the oldest and wisest man in the village for some advice on how he could become rich and famous. The wise elder listened to the young man tell of his dreams and of his ambition to achieve success beyond that which anyone had ever imagined.

   “Fame and fortune is yours to be had at the top of yonder mountain,” advised the wise man, as he pointed to a tall mountain in the distance. “You must travel on foot to the top of the mountain. There you will find riches beyond your belief. When you arrive there you will have but one chance to claim the treasure for yourself. Once you leave the top of the mountain, whatever remains will be lost forever.”

   The young man was very excited and could hardly wait until the morning when he was to meet with the wise old man for final instructions. In the morning when he arrived at the wise old man’s home, the young man saw a long, thick log lying on the ground in front of the house.

   “What is that for?” asked the puzzled young man.

   “You must carry this log on your journey to the top of the mountain,” explained the wise old man.

   “But why?” the young man questioned. “What use is this log? It weighs so much and will slow me down on my journey. I want to claim my fortune quickly.”

   The wise old man merely looked at the young man, and then down at the heavy log, and quietly said, “The log is a necessary part of the journey. You must take it with you to the top of the mountain to claim your treasure.”

   The young man was not pleased with this sudden surprise, but he respected the wise old man and as he lifted the long, heavy log onto his shoulders and struggled down the road towards the mountain he realized that the trip would not be as easy as he thought.

   After he was walking for a while, a woodsman came up to him and said, “It looks like that log is pretty heavy. Would you like me to cut some of if off to make it lighter?”

   The young man was exhausted and with so much of the journey yet to be travelled, was afraid that he would never make it up the mountain with the heavy burden, so he said, “I suppose that a little bit cut off the end wouldn’t hurt. Thanks for your help”. And the woodsman cut eight inches off the end.

   The young man continued to struggle up the mountain and finally he arrived at the top. There at the very peak of the mountain was the most beautiful treasure he had ever seen. This was his dream. All that stood between him and his treasure was a wide opening in the earth which surrounded the mountain peak. The crevice was very deep and there was only one way to get across the opening. Now it became clear to the young man why the wise old man had given him this log to carry on his journey.

   The excited young man lay the log across the gap and discovered to his dismay that it was eight inches too short to span the distance. The eight inches that he had allowed to be cut off to lighten his load on his journey to his treasure. As he turned despondently to walk down the mountain side, he looked back with tearful eyes and saw his treasure slowly disappear.

   The young man learned a lesson that for many of us comes too late in life. Our dreams and our treasures are within our reach, but in order to get them we must first of all experience the struggles it takes to get there. Only then will we have what it takes to finally reach out and claim our treasure at the end of the journey. If we lighten the load too much along the way, our treasure may end up just out of reach.

   The next time you find yourself struggling with life’s challenges, remember that it will be all worth it when you finally reach the top of the mountain to claim your reward.

Decide On Your Big Goals First And Stay Focused!

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

April 3, 2007

    
  
  
   I recently read an interesting book which was written by Eileen Shapiro and Howard Stevenson. The name of the book was “Make Your Own Luck”. 

   The book was based on the fact that every action we take during the course of our life is a ‘bet’. In other words, the actions we take today and the decisions we make are based on the expectation or hope, but not the certainty, of achieving certain desired results in the future.
  
   Human beings we bet all of the time. We cannot avoid it. Everything we do in life is a bet. It is a bet that the time and resources we invest now through our actions will achieve some desired benefit as a result of those actions. Even the act of driving our car is a bet that the choices we make along the way will get us to our destination point. Sometimes we lose that bet if our car breaks down or we get involved in an accident. When we drive over the speed limit, we are betting that there won’t be a police officer around the corner. The list of daily bets is endless.
  
   What amazed me most about this book was the way the authors were able to explain how easy it is for us to gain control of our life simply by becoming more focussed on the “big goals” instead of all of the smaller ones.  We can dramatically improve our odds of achieving our desired results and therefore go from depending on dumb luck to actually taking more control over our own destinies.

   This message really hit home in one of the early chapters when the authors were relating an experience they had one day while conducting a job interview for the position of manager of one of their companies. A man named Dean Kamen was one of the candidates for the position and he was asked a number of questions during the course of the interview. One of the questions was, “Imagine you are stranded on a deserted island. If you could choose one person to be stranded with you, who would it be?”

   The authors expected Mr. Kamen to give one of the typical answers that people usually give to this question, such as, “your spouse, a great philosopher, an athlete, a famous religious figure, a sexy movie star, a story teller or a close friend or family member.” What would your answer be?

   Mr. Kamen surprised the authors with his answer. He thought for a moment and then said, “The world’s best boat builder.”

   Mr. Kamen realized that his ‘big goal” was to get off the island. He could have selected a companion who would make life much easier for himself while he was stranded on the island waiting to be saved. Instead, he selected a companion who would be able to help him get off the island and thus control his own destiny.
  
   Needless to say, Mr. Kamen got the job.
  
   The message for all of us is that as long as we keep our big goals in mind and take actions that will help us move towards those big goals, we will increase the odds of achieving our desired outcomes. Our chances of ‘winning’ most of the bets we make in this ‘game of life’ will be much greater if we think more like Mr. Kamen. If we want to ‘get off the island’ on which we are ‘stranded’ , then we should be thinking about finding a ‘boat builder’, not someone who will merely make us comfortable in our misery.  

   If life truly is a series of “bets”, then I want to increase my odds of winning every time I place a bet. By focusing on what I need to achieve the “big goals” in my life those odds will be improved and I will be in control of my own destiny.
  
   Have a good week!

Use The Triple Filter Method The Next Time You Hear A Rumour

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

March 27, 2007

    
  
  
   Wouldn’t it be nice if we could put an end to rumours and gossip?
    
   How many times in the past have you been guilty of passing on some juicy information that you heard from someone you thought you could trust only to find out later that what you originally heard was wrong? Whenever that happens to me I get a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, knowing that I have contributed to the spread of this false information. Each time I vow never to get caught again…but inevitably history repeats itself.
  
   Well, I think I’ve finally found a method which will protect me from rumour and gossip forever. It is such a good piece of advice that I want to share it with all of my readers in an attempt to eliminate all forms of rumour and gossip.
  
   The next time you either hear or are about to repeat a rumour, think about the following story about the Greek philosopher, Socrates, who lived from 469 to 399 BC. He was widely known and respected for his wisdom.
  
   Once day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?”
  
   “Wait a moment," Socrates replied. “Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test.”

   “Triple filter?”

   “That's right,” Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my Student let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say.  The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”
  
   “No,” the man said, “Actually I just heard about it.”

   “All right,” said Socrates. “So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?”

   “No, on the contrary ...”

   “So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him, even though you're not certain it's true?”

   The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued. “You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?”

   “No, not really ...”

   “Well," concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?”

   The man was defeated and ashamed.
  
   The lesson here is one that we can apply in just about all areas of our life. Whether you are a parent, a teacher, a friend, a co-worker, or just an acquaintance, the next time someone starts to tell you a bit of gossip about another person, simply perform the “Triple Filter” test on them. If they fail any part of the filter test, then it is likely not worth your while to listen.
  
   Moreover, the next time you are tempted to talk about someone else, or the next time you want to share some secret with another person, take a couple of moments and do the “triple filter” test on yourself.

   If you have an urge to say anything of which you are not certain is true; if you have an urge to say anything which is not good about someone else, or; if you have an urge to say something which is not even useful to the person to whom you are speaking, then why say anything at all. Stop the rumours and gossip that you are spreading! Refuse to listen to rumours and gossip from others! Then we can put an end to rumours and gossip once and for all.
  
   Have a good week!

“If You Always Do What You’ve Always Done You’ll Always Get What You’ve Always Got”

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

March 13, 2007

   
I recently saw a documentary on television about Alcatraz Prison. It was a famous fortress that housed some of the most hardened criminals of all time. The cameras followed the person doing the show and he explained how many men had tried to escape, but only one was known to have succeeded.  He went on to point out how the prison was built on an island in such a way that it was virtually impossible to escape.
 
   As usual, my mind wouldn’t just let me enjoy the show and I soon started to think about how this show was so much like an article I had just finished reading. The article was about the other prisons that are equally confining in this world. But those prisons have doors that are never locked; there are no guards around the perimeter; and escape is not only encouraged, it is actually possible.
 
   As the host of the show continued to talk, I could clearly see the similarities in both prisons. First, there was Alcatraz , which was man-made and constructed on an island to keep criminals away from the rest of the world. Then there was the other prison, which is self-made and tends to keep us away from the rest of the world where we might be able to enjoy the best that this life has to offer. That second prison is called Habit.
 
   In the article I was reading, Dr. Jay Dishman described Habit in the following way:
 
   “Habit is thinking about ourselves and our environment as a jail or paradise. We need only to look around us and we will see people who are rich emotionally and materially because they think and feel rich. We also see people who are laden with emotional and material debt because they think and feel poor. Some are inspired with vision, others are encumbered with doubt. Some are moved by ambition, others feel safer in monotony. Some reach for the mountain tops, others huddle in the pits. Some seek opportunity, others wait for it to knock. The sad fact is that we find far more people who are confined by their thoughts than we find people who are fed by them.”
 
   What Dr. Dishman was describing is so true. Many of us are locked inside a prison by negative thinking. And yet all we have to do to set ourselves free is to renew our mind. By renewing your mind and your thoughts, you change your habit of thinking and you renew your life at the same time.
 
   The title of this week’s editorial is a quote I actually  have taped on the top of my computer screen. “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”
 
   Each time I find that I am beginning to lock myself inside a mental prison, afraid to be inspired by some new vision of mine, I glance at the quotation and ask myself if I am becoming a victim of habit. I ask myself if there is a better way of doing what I want to do…if there is a faster way of doing what I want to do. I don’t want to be trapped by Habit. I want to feel the freedom and exhilaration that comes from being inspired by a vision that few others can see. I want to reach for the mountain tops. I want to reach out and take hold of opportunities, not sit back and wait for opportunity to come knocking.
 
   Habit is safe. Habit is predictable. Habit keeps your life on an even keel and allows you to “fit in” with the rest of society. Habit is also appreciated by those around you who need predictability and who want to know what to expect from you at all times. That is why we spend so much time teaching our young children routines, so that they become habit forming and controlling.
 
   Most certainly you will encounter your share of failure and disappointment, but as the saying goes, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the things you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the tradewinds in your sails. Explore! Dream! Discover!”
 
   Don’t allow yourself to remain trapped inside a prison with no locks, no doors and no guards. Escape today…
 
   Have a good week!

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

March 6, 2007

   We all like to hear a good riddle now and then. It is fun to try to guess the “trick answer” or come up with the “punch line”. The neat thing about riddles is that once you’ve heard the answer it tends to stay with you forever. The next time you hear the same riddle, the answer pops right up in your head and out comes the correct answer. You may not have “got it” the first time, but our brain seems to process the answer so that we are never tricked again.
   
   The other day I came across an interesting riddle. Let me try it out on you…
   
THERE ARE FIVE BIRDS ON A TELEPHONE WIRE. TWO OF THEM DECIDE TO FLY SOUTH. HOW MANY ARE LEFT?
   
   While you are thinking about the answer, I want you to read the following brief warning which was written by a man named Frank Outlaw. It is entitled “It’s All About Character”.
   
   Watch your thoughts; they become words.
   Watch your words; they become actions.
   Watch your actions; they become habits.
   Watch your habits; they become character.
   Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
  
DO YOU HAVE THE ANSWER TO THE RIDDLE?

   No, it’s not three; it’s five. 

   DECIDING TO FLY and ACTUALLY FLYING are two different things. So even though two of the birds DECIDE to fly south, it doesn’t mean that they actually left yet.
  
   Strangely, when I read the riddle I didn’t have the urge to laugh. Instead I reflected upon the life lesson that this riddle has to offer to all who hear it. What the riddle is saying to you is that you will never get anywhere you want to go in this life until you point yourself in the right direction, jump off the wire and flap your wings. Two birds may have decided to fly south, but until they jump off the wire, they will never have a chance of getting there.
  
   I’ve come across many people during the course of my life who had dreams and aspirations, but they just couldn’t jump off the wire. I’ve seen people who wanted to reduce weight to improve their health, but who could not resist the urge to have a donut or chocolate bar, rationalizing their actions by having a diet Pepsi as well. Anyone can want to be thin when they are not hungry. The problem is when they are hungry they are tempted by the momentary pleasure that comes from eating that one donut.
  
   The same can be said about a person who is trying to quit smoking. It is easy to quit right after you’ve put out a cigarette. The real challenge is to resist the urge to light up later on in the day. Cutting back on drinking; eating junk food; fast food diets – it is always easy to set goals and say that you are going to stop drinking; stop eating junk food; and stop going to fast food restaurants. But it is too easy to fall to temptation later on.
  
   In the end, it’s not our goals that determine the quality of our life; it's our actions. When there’s a conflict between what we want NOW and what we want for the future, LATER seems so much more attractive than now -- but it`s not a good life strategy.
  
   I love donuts, but I’ve never had one that was so good that the pleasure lasted for more than a few moments.
  
   The key to a happy and satisfying life therefore, is to resist urges and impulses for momentary pleasures that may sabotage long-term goals. Lots of things that feel good aren’t good for us, and lots of things that are fun won’t make us happy.
  
   As I leave you this week, I want to leave you with a quote by Dante: “There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy.” 
  
   Giving up the good `now` for a better `later` shouldn’t be seen as a sacrifice; it’s an investment.
  
   Have a good week!

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

February 27, 2007

 
    One night last week my wife and I had the privilege of baby sitting our two granddaughters. Yes. We consider it a privilege every time we have an opportunity to spend time with them. Unfortunately, I had to attend a meeting so it was around 8:30 when I finally arrived at the house. My wife told me that my oldest granddaughter had been asking for me all night, wondering when Grandpa was coming. Thankfully, she was still awake and when she saw me I picked her up and she hugged my neck for what seemed like an eternity. We didn’t say a word to each other. Just hugged and snuggled.
  
   The previous night I had come across the following story in one of my email messages. Before I write another word, I want you to read it. It was entitled, “Stay”.
  
   Late one night at the hospital, a nurse took a tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside of a dying patient.
  
   "Your son is here," she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened. Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.
  
   The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength.
  
   Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile. He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital; the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.
  
   Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.
  
   Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited. Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her.
  
   "Who was that man?" he asked.
  
   The nurse was startled, "He was your father," she answered.
  
   "No, he wasn't," the Marine replied. "I never saw him before in my life."
  
   "Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?"
  
   "I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed."
  
   As my granddaughter and I held each other, I couldn’t help but recall the story about the Marine and the old man at the hospital.  I don’t know who needed each other more that night. One thing I am sure of is that my granddaughter felt the love I felt as we held each other. It must have been the same with the Marine and the old man.
  
   There is a saying that I turn to every now and then when I want to remind myself about what is important in this world. The saying is: “We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience.”
  
   I regretted not being able to be with my granddaughter for the entire evening. It was unfortunate that I had a meeting to attend, but were it not for the meeting, I may not have had that wonderful, spiritual experience I had with her that night.
  
   The hug may have lasted only a couple of minutes, but I will remember the feeling for the rest of my life.
  
   The next time someone needs you…just be there. Stay. It is truly a privilege to be needed by another human being…just be there.
  
   Have a good week!  

“ In This World You Tend To Get What You Expect So Make Sure You Set Your Sights High”

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

February 20, 2007

   
    It doesn’t matter whether you are at work or at play; young or old; rich or poor; man or woman - in this world you will find yourself always being judged and evaluated according to your performance. And yet, one’s personal level of performance is often a direct result of the expectations of people around them or to whom they are responsible. If someone expects you to fail at something, you often live down to that expectation. If they expect you to succeed, you do everything you can to live up to that expectation.
  
    As a classroom teacher I saw this all the time. There were many students who came into my class with low marks and a reputation for having poor work habits. Their parents would tell me that they couldn’t find anything that would motivate their child to complete assignments and homework and that they had faced failure and challenges for years. 
  
   I have always had a reputation for being a stubborn man, so I would usually ignore previous reports and establish high expectations for ALL of my pupils. Many of them protested that they "couldn’t" do the work. They complained that other teachers had understood their “learning difficulties” and would reduce the workload or modify the program.  I held my ground and would very forcefully tell them that there was no reason of which I was aware to accept a lower standard and moreover, I assured them that I would never assign anything which I felt was beyond their capabilities. Things might not be easy, but they would be achievable with hard work and determination.
  
   By showing them that I felt they were competent, and that in my capacity as their teacher, I had the confidence in their ability to succeed, most of them discovered a new level of success that surprised their parents and former teachers alike. Best of all, they surprised themselves at the work they were able to accomplish once they set their sights and their own personal standards higher. Many of these former students have returned at various stages of their life to thank me for “being so hard on them”, and for “helping them build up their own self-confidence and self-esteem”. Time after time I have heard these young adults tell me that all they needed was someone to “push them to new heights” and someone who they knew “was going to be there for support and guidance along the way when they needed help.”
  
   Readers who are familiar with baseball will remember Pete Rose, or will at least recall having read something about his playing ability. One day he was being interviewed during spring training the year he was about to break Ty Cobb’s all time hits record. A reporter asked him, "Pete, you only need 78 hits to break the record. How many at bats do you think you’ll need to get the 78 hits?"
  
   Without hesitation, Pete looked at the reporter and said, "78."
  
   The report yelled back, "Come on, Pete. You don’t expect to get 78 hits in 78 bat bats do you?"
  
   Rose explained, "Every time I step up to the plate I expect to get a hit. If I go up there only hoping to get a hit, then I probably don’t have a prayer."
  
   Rose’s philosophy is one that we all should adopt.
  
   If you hope to finish the project; if you hope to be a good father; if you hope to get higher marks; if you hope to finish your homework....you may do an adequate job, but you will never reach your true potential. You MUST approach everything in life with the expectation that you will always be successful. Nothing else is acceptable. You should never do anything merely hoping to succeed. You MUST approach everything you do in life fully expecting to accomplish your objectives. You may not get a "hit" every time you go to bat, but you at least have to "expect" that you will or you will never get anywhere.
  
   So next time you find yourself doubting your abilities, or you are unsure about whether or not you are capable of handling your responsibilities, remember Pete Rose. Go into everything in your life with the expectation that you will do a great job, and you will be surprised at how well you actually perform. And if someone else gives you a task that seems a bit too difficult for you to handle, just remember one very important thing. If that if that person who gave you the task thinks you can do it, so should you. 
  
   Have a good week!

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

February 13, 2007

   
   Sometimes it takes many years of living for a person to really appreciate how much others did for us as we were going through life’s ups and downs. As you get older and look back upon your life, you begin to realize that you didn’t make it on your own. You had plenty of help along the way. The trouble is that we were not often aware that the help was there and worse of all, when we were aware, we may not have expressed our the way you should have.

   If there is one message I would like to get across to young adults who are beginning their trek down the long road of life, it’s simply, “No matter where you go or who you become, never forget who helped you get there.” And don’t miss out on an opportunity to thank them. This message is best expressed in a little passage I came across the other day on the internet. It is simply entitled, ‘Friends’; author unknown.

   “In the first grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went to the bathroom with you and held your hand as you walked through the scary halls.

   In the third grade your idea of a good friend was the person who shared lunch with you when you forgot yours on the bus.

   In the fifth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who saved a seat on the back of the bus for you.

   In the seventh grade your idea of a friend was the person who let you copy the math homework from the night before that you had forgotten.

   In the ninth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who convinced your parents you shouldn’t be grounded.

   In the eleventh grade your idea of a good friend was the person who gave you rides in their new car and found you a date to the dance.

   Now your idea of a good friend is still the person who gives you the better of two choices; holds your hand when you’re scared; helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you; thinks of you at times when you are not there; reminds you of what you have forgotten; helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer; stays with you so that you have confidence; goes out of their way to make time with you; helps you clear up your mistakes; helps you deal with pressure from others; smiles for you when you are sad; helps you become a better person; and most importantly, loves you!

   The message I want to leave you today is simple. Stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped you become the person that you are today. Never be afraid to express your love and to tell someone what they mean to you. The difference between expressing love and having regrets is that the regrets may stay around forever. The loved ones may be gone tomorrow.

   There’s never a wrong time to pick up a phone or send a message telling your friends how much you miss them or how much you love them. Take this opportunity around Valentine’s Day to send a message of love to a friend. If you don’t, you will have once again passed up a chance to do something loving and beautiful.

   Seize the day and have no regrets.”

   Have a good week

    

“ Take Time To Read The Handwriting On The Wall”

Editorial by Robert Kirwan

February 6, 2007

   Just the other day a friend of mine came up to me while I was in the middle of rearranging my schedule to accommodate an unforeseen problem that had just arisen and he asked, “How can you stay so calm and relaxed? Don’t you ever get upset at anything? This would drive me crazy!”
  
   I smiled and shrugged my shoulders while telling him, “I’ve learned that getting upset doesn’t make your problems go away. It just gets in the way of dealing with things and moving on.”
  
   In fact, there is one little story I read a long time ago that had a great deal of influence on how I react to things today. At the time I first read the story I was the kind of person who could “fly off the handle” very easily and I often over reacted to things that other people told me before I investigated the situation myself. After reading the story I changed my attitude and learned to wait until I had all of the facts so that I could form my own opinions and arrive at my own conclusions.

   Let me share the story with you.

   One day a weary mother returned from the store, lugging groceries into the kitchen. Awaiting her arrival was her eight-year old son, eager to relate to her what his five-year old younger brother had done.
  
   “Mommy,” he said, “I was outside and dad was on the phone and Billy took his crayons and wrote on the wall. It’s on the new wall paper you just hung in the den. I told him you’d be mad and would have to do it over again.”
  
   She let out a moan and furrowed her brow while shouting, “Where is your little brother?”
  
   She emptied her arms and with a purposeful stride marched to his closet where he had gone to hide, calling his full name as she entered his bedroom. Billy trembled with fear as he emerged from the closet, knowing full well that he was in deep trouble.
  
   For the next ten minutes, she ranted and raved about the expensive wallpaper and how she had saved for so long to get it done. She condemned his actions and total lack of care and respect. The more she scolded the angrier she became.

   Then she stomped from his room, totally distraught. She headed for the den to confirm her fears.
  
   When she saw the wall, her eyes flooded with tears.
  
   The message she read pierced her soul like a knife.
  
   It said, “I Love Mommy,” surrounded by a heart.
  
   Well, needless to say, the wallpaper remained, just as she found it, with an empty picture frame hung to surround it as a reminder to her and indeed to all who saw it from that day forward to “take time to read the handwriting on the wall”.
  
   There have been many times in my life when I have been thankful for avoiding the urge to jump to conclusions too soon. I discovered that it is always better to make the RIGHT decision rather than make a QUICK decision that turns out to be wrong. I have learned that unless it is a matter of extreme urgency, I am always better off taking time to gather all of the relevant details before forming an opinion or taking action. Far too often I have found myself in situations where I wished I could have taken back my words or turned back the clock and made different choices that would have resulted in much more desirable outcomes.
  
   And so, as I related to my friend, it’s not a matter of never getting upset over things. Just ask some of my former students and they will confirm that I can certainly get upset from time to time and that I’m not always calm and relaxed. I’ve just found that taking time to “read the handwriting on the wall” before reacting to most situations is a much better way of handling everything that life throws your way.
  
   Have a good week!

Published by
INFOCOM CANADA BUSINESS CONSULTANTS INC.
Robert Kirwan, President & C.E.O.
4456 Noel Crescent, Val Therese ON P3P 1S8
Phone: (705) 969-7215    
EMAIL   rkirwan@infocomcanada.com