CHURCH PARKING LOT - FOR MEMBERS ONLY
Trespassers
will be baptized!
"No
God - No Peace. Know God - Know Peace."
"Free
Trip to heaven. Details Inside!"
"Try
our Sundays. They are better than Baskin Robbins."
"Searching
for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"
An
ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stone
tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a
headline that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take
two tablets."
When
the restaurant next to another Church put out a big sign with
red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church
reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on
Sundays, too."
"People
are like tea bags -- you have to put them in hot water before
you know how strong they are."
"Fight
truth decay -- study the Bible daily."
"How
will you spend eternity - Smoking or Nonsmoking?"
"Dusty
Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"
"Come
work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and
the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this
world."
"It
is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."
"Do
not wait for the hearse to take you to church."
"If
you're headed in the wrong direction, God
allows U-turns."
"Looking
at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire
insurance soon."
"This
is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" (U R)
"In
the dark? Follow the Son."
"Running
low on faith? Step in for a fill-up."
"If
you can't sleep, don't count sheep.
Talk to the Shepherd."
