Dear God:
Why do humans smell the
flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God:
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it going
to be the same old story?
Dear God:
Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE
named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We
dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the
'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
Dear God:
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears
him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God:
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,
whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's,
electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do
humans understand?
Dear God:
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God:
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to
get in?
Dear God:
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to
apologize?
Dear God:
Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
remember to be a good dog:
1. I will not eat the
cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead
seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they
smell.
3. I will not munch on
"leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are
tasty, they are not food.
4. The diaper pail is not
a cookie jar.
5. The sofa is not a face
towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
6. The garbage collector
is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong
in the refrigerator.
8. I will not bite the
officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and
registration.
9. I will not play
tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
10. Sticking my nose into
someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying 'hello.'
11. I do not need to
suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee
table.
12. I must shake the
rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
13. I will not throw up in
the car.
14. I will not come in
from outside and immediately drag my butt.
15. I will not sit in the
middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is
over.
16. The cat is not a
squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise,
it's usually not a good thing.
And, finally, my last
question.......
Dear God:
When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back
